Praise be to God, Even in my Tribulation

I am left utterly amazed and thankful at how God has so graciously blessed me and kept me for the past week. When I thought my strength would fail, He supplied me, and by His grace and providence we won the Hwa Chong Cup. My results have also been better than I expected, also better than I deserved, considering my attitude and my effort. However, God gave me a humbling experience when I saw jarring weaknesses in my thinking and knowledge. Yet through His grace, I kept all my three 'A's.

Disheartening for me, however, is the fact that I have not paid to God what is due. I have time and again caught myself taking pride in my achievement, and God's glory seems to be snuffed out, outshone by the glory of weak, sinful man. I pray for courage to give Him the glory in front of my classmates, to show them that there is a Greater Being worthy of honor. Sin still plagues my life, my speech and my thoughts, lurking here and there, surfacing whenever my focus turns from God. I am giving place to the evil desires of my flesh, instead of mortifying it as we are commanded to do so. I must carry on this struggle, I must fear God in all I do, wherever I am, whoever I am with. I do not want to be worldly.

My body is waxing still weaker and weaker. I fear the worst. Sometimes the pain makes me sore depressed, but I know that the deep waters He calls me to go through are for my good. The rivers of woe shall not me overflow, His grace is sufficient for me. This weakness is humbling me, bringing me down to once again see what we truly are compared to God: we are but dust. We are frail creatures. Our lives are for but fleeting moments, which, once passed, are as if they never were, and all achievements fade away. "...the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." Job 1:21b. The LORD gave me intelligence to accomplish all this, but He has taken away the strength of my youth and my health. Even so, should He so choose, He can take my mental capabilities away as well. I should therefore use them for the highest good: the glory of God.

I need serenity and peace amidst this turmoil. Toil is ceaseless, and this world of evil brings tribulation. I bring to memory something I read from a decorative plague I saw in my friend's house:

"LORD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

This shall be my prayer tonight.