A.S.A.P.(H)

It is Well...

2011-03-29T18:21:00.002+08:00

GP and Econs results were bad, but though I feel really upset, I know this is going to work out for good. I trust my Heavenly Father's plan, that He has all things under His control. My grades have all been pre-determined. Should I truly need the excellent results, He will grant them. These results also humble me to a great extent. I found out how weak I am in thinking and memory. I really am not gifted with extraordinary intellect.

Praise be to God, Even in my Tribulation

2011-03-23T21:36:00.003+08:00

I am left utterly amazed and thankful at how God has so graciously blessed me and kept me for the past week. When I thought my strength would fail, He supplied me, and by His grace and providence we won the Hwa Chong Cup. My results have also been better than I expected, also better than I deserved, considering my attitude and my effort. However, God gave me a humbling experience when I saw jarring weaknesses in my thinking and knowledge. Yet through His grace, I kept all my three 'A's.

Disheartening for me, however, is the fact that I have not paid to God what is due. I have time and again caught myself taking pride in my achievement, and God's glory seems to be snuffed out, outshone by the glory of weak, sinful man. I pray for courage to give Him the glory in front of my classmates, to show them that there is a Greater Being worthy of honor. Sin still plagues my life, my speech and my thoughts, lurking here and there, surfacing whenever my focus turns from God. I am giving place to the evil desires of my flesh, instead of mortifying it as we are commanded to do so. I must carry on this struggle, I must fear God in all I do, wherever I am, whoever I am with. I do not want to be worldly.

My body is waxing still weaker and weaker. I fear the worst. Sometimes the pain makes me sore depressed, but I know that the deep waters He calls me to go through are for my good. The rivers of woe shall not me overflow, His grace is sufficient for me. This weakness is humbling me, bringing me down to once again see what we truly are compared to God: we are but dust. We are frail creatures. Our lives are for but fleeting moments, which, once passed, are as if they never were, and all achievements fade away. "...the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." Job 1:21b. The LORD gave me intelligence to accomplish all this, but He has taken away the strength of my youth and my health. Even so, should He so choose, He can take my mental capabilities away as well. I should therefore use them for the highest good: the glory of God.

I need serenity and peace amidst this turmoil. Toil is ceaseless, and this world of evil brings tribulation. I bring to memory something I read from a decorative plague I saw in my friend's house:

"LORD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

This shall be my prayer tonight.

Visit to Christian Home for the Aged

2010-12-11T20:14:00.005+08:00

Went with KS to visit the Christian Home for the Aged. It's my third time there, and it still feels like the first time. So difficult to communicate with the folks there, because of my language deficiency, and they speak very softly, so it takes a lot of patience to understand them, and sometimes I fail in understanding them. But still, seeing them smile is a good sign. They're happy for us just to be there, sing songs for them, and try to talk to them.

Watching them makes me think of what will become of me when I reach their age. Aging, illness, deterioration of body and mind are just one bit of the legacy of the sin of our first ancestor Adam. With sin death entered into the world, and because of this we grow old, get sick and eventually turn to dust. The comfort for saints is that we will not suffer this deterioration for eternity. When we are risen, our bodies will be made whole, perfect, without any defect. We will know pain, illness and suffering no longer. We will be reunited with all our friends and family in Christ, and the former things, the evil days, will be no more remembered.

2010-12-06T20:36:00.002+08:00

Jehovah is my light, and my salvation near.
Who shall my soul afright, or cause my heart to fear?
While God, my strength, my life sustains,
Secure from fear my soul remains.

When evil-doers came, to make my life their prey,
They stumbled in their shame, and fell in sore dismay.
Though hosts make war on every side,
Still fearless I in God confide.

My one request has been, and still this prayer I raise,
That I may dwell within God's house through all my days.
Jehovah's beauty to admire,
And in His temple to inquire.

When troubles round me swell, when fears and dangers throng,
Securely I will dwell in his pavilion strong.
Within the covert of His tent,
He hides me till the storm is spent.

Uplifted on a rock, above my foes around.
Amid the battle-shock, my song shall still resound.
Then joyful off'rings I will bring,
Jehovah's praise my heart shall sing.

Back from Retreat

2010-12-05T20:51:00.002+08:00

Back from KS Retreat which was from Tuesday to Friday. A real fulfilling time of spiritual retreat and restoration. Learnt so much about perseverance and keeping from sin. Fellowship was great too.

SLV

2010-11-26T16:36:00.002+08:00

Thirteen of us went down to the I-can't-remember-what-that-place-is-called to visit the old folks there, play games, give them gifts and put up musical performances. Tired, but great fun. Waiting for Ying Ying to upload the videos and photos, then I will be embarrassed haha.

Near Breakdown

2010-11-23T20:07:00.002+08:00

Is it the coffee, or the stress, or both? I feel so on the verge of a breakdown, I'm so restless and vexed sore by all the tasks I have to complete, and on top of that, all the tasks I know I will have to face. No respite, it seems, this life of mine affords. I know I should not worry about tomorrow, but I just cannot help it. And I have to deal with a grievous loss what more, hoping to be able to salvage it.

I kept walking around, and when I tried to settle down, my muscles went through cycles of tension and relaxation, against my will. I would find my hands clenched into tight fists suddenly and start punching objects. Fortunately I retreated to more secluded areas till my restlessness was spent and I was exhausted.

A Tinge of Annoyance

2010-11-13T20:43:00.003+08:00

Took 2 days to download Lord of the Rings Online just to find out that I do not have space on my computer to play. Boohoo. Fortunately, thanks to Nat Quek who provided the idea, I can buy a thumb drive and install the game into my thumb drive. But I will have to find a shop first. The IT shop near my place moved away already. Irritating.

Tried to study cosmology, realised it is so much more difficult than I initially thought. Emission spectra... WHAT? I have to read Quantum Physics as well. Might as well, since quantum is part of H3 Modern Physics syllabus. But it all seems too much for my little brain to handle. Believe me, my intellectual capacity really does fall short ever so often, so much so that I get increasingly frustrated with myself for not being able to understand what I study.

Huge Undertakings

2010-11-08T18:15:00.002+08:00

Gonna busy myself studying Biology, Geology and Astrophysics, cos I need the background knowledge to be able to fully understand more about the Creation-Evolution debate, and compile notes from all my different materials and resources to form a single volume.

A Thorn

2010-11-04T18:57:00.002+08:00

A thorn, deeply wedged in my flesh. Day and night it pierces me, increasing my agony. I wish I had not been so foolish, I thought I was controlled by ration, I was wrong. Now I am sorely vexed, unable to free myself, for it keeps me captive even deep down in my soul, so much so that a part of me does not want to dislodge this thorn, I know that if I give in, I will head straight to my destruction.

Six Days of Final Torment

2010-11-03T17:25:00.002+08:00

I can't help it. I'm more than a little worried about OP, though I seldom worry. Somehow almost nothing has worked out right, and time is not on our side.

We have six days to work a miracle.

Higher Ground...

2010-11-01T23:18:00.002+08:00

My heart has no desire to stay
Where doubts arise, and fears dismay.
Though some may dwell where these abound,
My prayer, my aim is higher ground.

Lord, lift me up, and let me stand,
By faith in heaven's table land.
A higher plane than I have found,
Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.

- Johnson Oatman, Jr.

And Soon the Chains shall be Loosed

2010-10-30T19:26:00.002+08:00

It's finally going to be over, this curse. This bondage.

On the first day of the eleventh month of the two thousand and tenth year of our Lord, at the eleventh hour, the shackles will be broken, we shall be free.

Intellectual Pursuits

2010-10-28T14:55:00.002+08:00

I'm like totally gobbling up my books now, almost like just reading for the sake of finishing those books to justify buying them, or to show that I'm not putting them on my shelf to make myself look intellectual only.

But then again, one or two of the books I bought require much greater mental faculties to comprehend, faculties far superior to those which I currently possess. Meanwhile, I'll wait till I'm a little older.

Then once I'm done with those books I'm gonna buy more books, so I'm going to need an actual bookshelf sooner or later.

Ominous Peril

2010-10-25T21:23:00.002+08:00

OP. How tragically fun.

"Hey, do you think WR is bad enough on those little critters?"

"Nah, of course not! Let's throw in an Oral Presentation component for good measure!"

"Yeah! Let's see how they crumble and break!"

"It'll be fun!"

"They'll fall down in tears, scream in despair, scramble all over the place, practise long hours, oh how thrilling it'll be to watch them!"

Ok, fine, I don't think that's really what happened back in MOE or wherever they came up with this. But still, let's all enjoy OP, shall we? It's got to be paradise for us! What more can a masochist ask for? If you think you've had a whale of a time with WR, oh, you're just getting the appetizer, I tell you. Get ready for the feast!

A Rude Awakening

2010-10-23T19:19:00.003+08:00

Well, Physics Olympiad Theory Paper section has come and gone. I was about as good as someone who could not read English, or it was in a totally different language to me. I was totally clueless for most of the questions, and all I could do for more than half of them was to simply scribble down some funny-looking equations I had memorized beforehand without even knowing if these equations were of any relevance to the question at all (I hope that got me some marks). Still, I did answer in full three out of the ten questions (with very little certainty as to the accuracy of my answers), and some parts of other questions here and there.

The paper was four hours long, and the ever-so-persevering spirit within me died before the second hour was spent. I could not endure the embarrassment any longer. Feeling utterly disgusted with myself, I decided to hand in the paper early and leave the room, the room that had no place for amateur wannabes like me.

At least now I know that I have no place among the nation's elite young physicists.

Relatively Speaking...

2010-10-22T15:35:00.003+08:00

Physics Olympiad is tomorrow, and I feel somewhat prepared... Relatively, compared to chess competitions, that is.

Speaking in relativistic terms (Why am I making such hopeless puns?), one can say that I am good at physics, with reference to the rest of Singapore. But I do not know who is going to be there tomorrow. Surely the top young physicists in Singapore, no doubt.

Pity, my momentum to study for Physics Olympiad came too late, now I think I have forfeited the chance to unleash my full potential in the competition. Still, I am just realizing how much I can strain my memory capacitance, urm, I mean, capacity. I've learnt how to really increase my efficiency in studying and absorption of photons, sorry, I meant to say knowledge.

Anyway, I really hope I can distinguish myself in this field. I hope my energy does not get depleted before the end, and also that my mind does not go into decay.

Sorry bout my choice of words, I know not everyone is on the same wavelength as me.

WR Frenzy

2010-10-17T17:43:00.004+08:00

Finally, a little break from all the toil, a little window of time to wipe off the dust that has been collecting on my blog.

It's a little depressing, seeing everyone all caught up like twigs in a gushing river stream, panicking and scrambling about to get their WRs done, with nothing but that on their minds, their only purpose of existence, all cares aside. Some sinking into desperation and despair, losing grip on certainty, or even their sanity, others transforming into cold, mindless drones with engines run on hyperdrive, or a combination of the two.

This is not the first time, and this is also far from the last time. We go through this frantic motion many times a year, we just love to do it. We can't get enough of it. Who is responsible for this? The system, they resound, blame the system. This gargantuan machine, mercilessly turning its cogs, driving all of us helplessly down the path to mental destruction and insanity. Every Student a Masochist, its motto.

Yes, blame the system. We are not at all at fault for drowning in the slough that we leap into. Maybe, but we should never forgive or excuse ourselves easily, if at all. Our freedom has not been robbed of us. The system can steal our time, drain our strength, even our wallets, but it cannot take our minds. Ming Hao said that I always looked calm and concerted, maybe he's right, at least for recent weeks. It's a special privilege I have, in a sense, that I have the certainty that whatever the outcome be, it is for my good. Yet, even for the rest of us, we can learn to keep our heads, remain calm, work consistently instead of at the eleventh hour, and be like a duck. Calm on the surface, yet paddling like mad under the water.

And the Moment we've all been Waiting for.... (or not)

2010-10-12T21:51:00.002+08:00

Got back results for three subjects today, Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics. My results were... The usual. With a slight improvement. Econs essay was returned as well, and it's looking good. 32 out of 50. An "A" for Econs is an impossibility, but still, an improvement. We'll know our full Econs score tomorrow. We might get GP back tomorrow as well. Argh, GP. The only certainty about GP is the uncertainty. Hope I can score that one as well.

VJC Open House 2010

2010-10-09T10:37:00.002+08:00

VJC Open House today. Spent 14 long hours in school.

Chess booth didn't get much business at all, all we could do was play among ourselves. I went and started playing blindfold chess, as in, not looking at the board and have my opponent tell me his moves and then I tell him mine and he plays it out on the board. Wei Xiang and Lin Bing combined their minds to play against me in this manner, and they lost.

Wei Xiang: You realise we have so big an advantage? We are two minds against one, and he is blind, yet we are getting owned!
*After the game* We lost to blind man!

Yet, despite all that, I find glaring weaknesses in my play, which trouble me. I have not improved for a long time, and it's not as if I'm already any good now. I just can't put a finger on what is stopping me from improving. I really hope I'm wrong, that it's not a lack of inborn talent that's stopping me.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows, like sea billows roll.
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
"It is well, it is well with my soul."

-Horatio Gates Spafford

2010-10-01T18:31:00.002+08:00

Oh! How often I forget...
That even when I think no one is looking,
God is.

Oh! How often I forget...
That though sin entices with offers of pleasure,
The price to pay is greater far.

Oh! How often I forget...
That though God forgives sin,
He hates it.

Oh! How often I forget...
That this flesh of mine is to be mortified,
Not gratified.

Oh! How often I forget...
During the times I despair because of sin,
That God has forgiven me.

Oh! How often I forget...
During my times of temptation,
To look to God for strength to resist.

Oh! How often I forget...
That though the storms of life may threaten to overwhelm,
I have Christ the solid rock on which to stand.

Oh! How often I forget...
That when fear, grief and loss come my way,
God has for these planned a purpose good.

Oh! How often I forget...
That when the cares of life vex me sore,
To carry everything to God in prayer.

Oh! How often I forget...
That when I am fainting in the race,
A cloud of witnesses surround.

Oh! How often I forget...
That though life may be a bed of roses now,
While here I live I have my cross to bear.

Oh! How often I forget...
That if God is not Lord of all,
He is not Lord at all.

Oh! How often I forget...
That it is not enough to read the Bible and go to church,
God wants my heart, my life, my all.

Oh! How often I forget...
That though earthly treasures afford much joy,
They last but fleeting moments.

Oh! How often I forget...
That the glory is God's and God's alone,
Not mine.

Oh! How often I forget...
That earning the praise of men is not important,
Doing the will of God is.

Oh! How often I forget...
That worldly achievements, however glorious, will fade away,
It's what's done for eternity's sake that truly counts.

Oh! How often I forget...
That when I am with my acquaintances,
I should not blush to speak of the Lord.

Oh! How often I forget...
That though it may be easy to hide my faith,
Jesus has commissioned us to witness.

Oh! How often I forget...
When I awake in the morning,
To commit the day to the Lord.

Oh! How often I forget...
When I lie down to sleep at night,
To thank the Lord for the day that has gone by.

Oh! How often I forget...
That the very fact that I have breath in my nostrils,
Is by God's grace.

2010-09-28T17:57:00.001+08:00

Insomnia again. I need a lullaby.

2010-09-24T13:49:00.002+08:00

Nat Quek said I needed an update, but as I am writing this, he is waiting for me in Bedok Library.

So anyway, had GP paper today. Now that's a load off my chest. I'm not very confident myself, though I feel I impressed myself with my essay, yet at the same time I am too easily impressed.

We've Only Just Begun

2010-09-14T18:30:00.002+08:00

Nary a blink, and JC1 is coming to a close. So much has passed and it feels like so little time. The months have flown by like fleeting moments, and before I can take the chance to do something meaningful and significant not related to school or CCA, here I am studying for Promos. The whole system is a huge time-stealer.

I'm pretty much doomed, I think.

2010-09-12T19:38:00.002+08:00

Well, the pseudo-holidays have come to an end. The final battle is yet to come, and I am already feeling defeated. Impossible, I cannot let this be, while there is yet strength in me, I cannot rest.

Overnight Study

2010-09-10T09:34:00.001+08:00

I studied overnight last night, and I didn't expect to actually last through the night, what more on only two cups of coffee. Now I feel lightheaded and sick, I'll just go drink another coffee.

2010-09-09T20:13:00.002+08:00

Abide with me, fast falls the eventide.
The darkness deepens, Lord, with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the Helpless, Oh, abide with me.

Swift to its close, ebbs out life's little day.
Earth's joys grow dim, its glories pass away.
Change and decay, in all around I see,
Oh, Thou who changest not, abide with me.

I need Thy presence every passing hour,
What but Thy grace can foil the Tempter's pow'r?
Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.

I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless,
Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness.
Where is Death's sting? Where, Grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if Thou abide with me.

Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes,
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heav'n's morning breaks, and earth's vain shadows flee.
In life, in death, Oh Lord, abide with me.

- Henry Lyte

Umbrella Gang Reunion

2010-09-08T23:00:00.002+08:00

And here we are again, Nathaniel Quek, Nathanael Long, Koh Wei Lun, Jordan Scott Miller and Asaph Ho. The Umbrella Gang. We met today, not at the Umbrella. It was raining. The Umbrella was wet.

We studied in the VS canteen, on the brown and sticky tables. I started studying Chem and realised how inadequately prepared I am for Chem. Then the same thing happened for Maths. Then for Econs. Throw in Chinese for good measure. I'm quite dead, aren't I?

Don't know why everyone in class still thinks I'm smart. Maybe they just have not seen the sheer stupidity that I am capable of, because they're neither chess players nor in the Physics Olympiad team. And some wonder why I have no confidence in myself, they cannot believe it when I tell them that I see no reason to have confidence in myself, rather I see even more compelling reason to not trust myself.

Anyway enough of depressing talk. Nat Long cracked a joke.

Q: Why did the weak acid go to the gym?

A: He wanted to be a buffer solution.

Wasn't that just bad? But still, he's Nat Long. We'll give him credit for that.

We ate dinner at Thaipan. By then Nat Quek and Wei Lun left, and after dinner the remaining three of us went back to the Land of Long Brown Sticky Tables to study some more, and we met Yi Qi there. He has not changed one bit, he looks completely the same.

Do you know there was a ghost there? Serious. After I came out of the toilet, the ghost jumped out from the darkness and tried to scare me. But I grabbed the ghost and beat him up. You had it coming, Nat Long. By the way, you're scarier under light then in the dark, because people can't really see your face in the dark.

Aah, nostalgia, the sheer feeling of thrill derived from the suffering of Nat Long.

2010-09-05T19:47:00.003+08:00

Led the kids in a time of singing in church together with Ben Quek today. I almost forgot the lyrics to What a Friend we have in Jesus. That was the first hymn I learnt, and my favourite verse was, and still is, "Oh, what peace we often forfeit! Oh, what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer. "

Everything, everything. Yes, everything. Even though I injured my right wrist today and I have tons of studying and Chinese assignments to do, my soul is not vexed. God's grace is sufficient to bring me through.

51st National Inter-Schools Team Chess Championships 2010

2010-09-04T21:50:00.003+08:00

Oh well, glad that's over. I'd say we did well, came in 5th out of 15 teams. I guess this will be one of my last tournaments in my little chess career. I can see the eventide descending upon the day. Finally, the last bit of competitive chess life in me is being snuffed out. Looking back, I realise I have come a very long way, from a little sec one helplessly trying to figure out the intricacies of the positions and then falling over in bewilderment when I get totally lost and clueless upon treading through the complications that arise in the course of playing a game. Now here I am, four years later, knowing so much more about chess theory and tactics. Although, of course, I can never compare to the top players in Singapore who have been trained virtually all their life from little kids, I have definitely made much progress.

In the end, it seems, the only deciding factor is inborn talent. If you are born with it, you are bound for it. if not, nay, that spot on the podium is not meant for your feet. Sounds fatalistic, but yea, the more one plays chess, the more one sees it to be true. Yet, I may try to prove myself wrong on that point, which means I have to play competitive chess again. Who knows? I may play chess for my university a few years down the road. If a new dawn come, let it shine brighter than the first.

Sick and Tired

2010-09-02T20:32:00.003+08:00

Nationals are on this Saturday, and I can't say I don't want to play, cos' it's a team event. I'm utterly sick and tired of competitive chess. There is just no joy to be derived from perpetually blundering and losing and embarrassing oneself. Much as I tried to find some meaning out of it, no, I found none.

I can already feel the failure coming, "No escape, Asaph. You've always lost, time and time again, no matter how hard you tried. What makes you think this time is going to be any different? Don't kid yourself with all this I-can-do-it self-motivational speech. You'll achieve nothing, because you are nothing."

2010-09-02T17:22:00.002+08:00

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

Is There Yet Hope?

2010-09-01T20:40:00.001+08:00

So many tasks to accomplish, so little time to do them.

Happy Teachers' Day

2010-08-31T20:53:00.004+08:00

Teachers' Day celebrations today. First off, during the breakfast time in the morning, Kai Yi desperately organised a last-minute operation to write two cards for Strategic Game Club's two teachers-in-charge, Mr. Mark Lee and Ms. Linda Teo (whom none of us except Kai Yi have actually met). It was successful to some extent, since Kai Yi managed to get Yuxuan, Roy, Samuel Tan, Belinda, Tian Yang and me together to write the cards. Ms. Teo's card was filled with "Happy Teachers' Day" while Mr. Lee's had some messages of substantial length. Well, at least Ms. Teo gets to know some of our names, since we added our names after the messages.

Then the 九位俊男 from 10S45 wrote a card for 云老师. Darren wrote something like "。。。我欠你的功课比山还高。。。" and Dean wrote "我爱你哦！" I passed the card to 云老师, and I could not bear to stay behind to see her reaction to what was written there.

The ladies wanted to play hide-and-seek, and Ming Hao and I were unwittingly dragged in. But when the game started we simply went straight into the hall because it was open to us already.

The celebrations began. You know, I just cannot stand VJ's obsession with all things to do with magic, mystical themes, what have you. The dementors were truly demented. At least the humor was refreshingly brain-rotting.

Econs lecture was canceled due to low attendance. We already saw this coming, didn't we?

I hopped by VS with Ming Hao and there met Ming Jun and the other RJ boys, and talked with some of our former teachers, then I went from VS to Thaipan, via Parkway (?). Nat Quek told me to go to Parkway, only to call me to tell me to go to Thaipan when I was already reaching Parkway. Grrr. An extra bus ride. It's so expensive taking the bus nowadays, cos' with distance fares, you get more flexibility, and more visits to the top-up machine!!! Yipee!

Mini class reunion today in Thaipan with Ason, Peng Chuen, Reuben, Lewis, Nat Quek, Yi Hong, Wei An and me. We met Jordan there too, though he was with his two female friends. Lewis, Nat and Peng Chuen took turns to introduce themselves to the girls.

Oh well, talk over lunch was the usual fare, verbal assaults flying this way and that, and utterances of the four-letter word bursting forth from springs of vulgarity. Actually it was only three of them who were doing that. Yi Hong was calling Nat Quek fat all the way. A pity Nat Long wasn't there, or I would have pulled off all those LONG puns again and make his blood pressure shoot through the roof, like that of Kai Yi's when the bridge people were ignoring him.

Reading Idols of the Heart by Elyse Fitzpatrick now, and one of the first scriptural references was to Matthew 22: 37: "Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." yes, this commandment seems all too familiar, and the very remembrance of it and the knowledge that yes, I have known this for years already, makes the guilt of having had idols in my heart all the more painful. John Calvin wrote "the nature of man's heart... is a perpetual factory of idols." indeed, how true it is, when we so often reach for the tangible, for immediate, short-term gratification.

Dear lord and Father of Mankind,
Forgive our foolish ways!
Re-clothe us in our rightful mind,
In purer lives Thy service find
In deeper reverence, praise.

2010-08-30T21:51:00.001+08:00

Beautiful Song. Main lyrics about love, and subliminal lyrics about war.

Promos? What Promos?

2010-08-30T17:47:00.001+08:00

Exams? I thought Promos was some big party where we all celebrate getting promoted to J2. After all, it has the word "Prom" in it. I didn't know it was exams! Oh no, what am I to do? I have not studied...

Be Thou My Vision

2010-08-29T21:49:00.002+08:00

Be Thou My Vision, Oh Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best thought, by day or by night
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light

Beautiful lyrics, this first verse of this great hymn still means so much after so long. Regardless of all the toil that harasses me round and about, and the vexation which wears me out, I look to God, and abide still in Him, nothing can bring the peace that His presence brings.

Birthday Surprise

2010-08-27T18:41:00.003+08:00

Shirley, Charis, Jing Yun and Ying Ying planned a birthday surprise for Jolene and Pei Wen today. Ming Hao and I got roped in by Shirley at the last moment. The icing pattern and writing on the cake was done by them, it was so ugly it was cute.

During Chinese lesson today, Samuel made a paper frog. He then, with Ming Hao and I watching on, tried to jump the frog to a table that was about two feet in front of his. He launched the frog, and it flew gracefully like a rock, straight down to floor with a resounding "thuk!" right in front of Ms. Hoon. Oops. She picked it up, looked at it, and put it down on the table which Samuel tried to get the frog to.

Ming Hao, Samuel and I cheered.

Read something really funny:

A ship captain one day recorded in the ship’s log, “First-mate drunk today.” It was a true statement, but was the first incident where the mate had been drunk while on duty. The mate pleaded with the captain to amend the statement, but the captain refused, saying it was a true statement. The next time the First-mate was in charge of the ship, he recorded in the log, “Captain sober today.”

From http://bible.org/illustration/captain-sober-today

Cool Apparatus

2010-08-26T23:19:00.002+08:00

Had the apparatus demonstration for Physics Olympiad by Mr. Caleb Ho, Mr. Julius Chan and Mr. Chan Kim Fatt. We tinkered around with stuff like the Hall Probe, which measures magnetic flux density (Huh?), the Cathode Ray Oscilloscope (Awesome elliptical figures), the Stroboscope (disco light!), traveling microscope (We never successfully measured the diameter of the "0" on the ten-cent coin), diffraction grating (How in the world do they cut 600 slits per mm???) and the spectroscope (Not so interesting).

I really hope I can get into Physics Olympiad, but then again, whether I get in or not, I know it is God's will, and I will give Him the glory, whatever the outcome.

Chemistry SPA

2010-08-25T18:17:00.002+08:00

Had Chem SPA today. Thank God, I experienced a setback and still managed to complete my report way ahead of time and check it thoroughly. I have rarely ever had successful experiments this year, and today was a success. What a work of grace.

Tomorrow is Physics SPA, and honestly I'm more worried about it than I was for Chemistry, there's just so much room to go wrong in Physics. Man, I hate Physics. Just kidding.

Was reading the book of Romans today, and read "the good that I would I do not" and it reminded me so much of me. Such a conflict between spirit and flesh. I fail so terribly so often, I sometimes doubt.

2010-08-24T16:22:00.002+08:00

*yesterday*

Ming Hao has finally had it...

Belinda: Can I borrow your Work Energy Power tutorial?

Ming Hao: Can I stop lending homework?

So sleepy today, can barely remember what happened, besides Paul Potts singing in Chinese class, and Mr. Goh talking about someone who dropped from a thousand meters in the air to the ground without opening his parachute and walked away unhurt twice.

2010-08-22T17:06:00.002+08:00

Finally, the Lord's Day has come again, Pastor Coleborn preached today, and gave a sermon which was to me a great comfort in the midst of my struggle. A timely message indeed.

Before service, Zhi Sheng asked me if it was difficult to teach chess, I agreed, of course. It is a mounting task, to transfer knowledge from one mind to another. For I see it in a certain way, but I must translate it out, and show it to the person whom I am teaching in a way that he can best see it, in his own way, which I must take pains to understand. It's the same way for physics, I find. I realise that I see things in a much different way from everyone else, and I've found that more a disability than an advantage. I come off as intelligent to some, yet I can be really oblivious to the obvious most of the time.

I've grown to be more understanding, I hope, of the vast differences between my mind and the minds of those I attempt to teach.

2010-08-20T19:45:00.002+08:00

Maybe the problem with me is not that I worry too much, maybe the problem is in the other direction, instead of looking forward and worrying about what will happen, I look back and see my failures, then project them into the future. I see myself repeating my failures in the future.

I have no confidence left, much as it seems that I have good reason to have it. So many things that have happened recently were so confidence-shattering for me, I'm not sure I can do well for Promos anymore.

Beaten, shaken, broken, torn asunder.

2010-08-19T18:37:00.002+08:00

Final Physics Olympiad Selection test today. I got totally slaughtered. I went in there knowing nuts. I came out knowing something: I'm an idiot.

2010-07-25T15:40:00.003+08:00

The little ones fill the room, and, with much ado
And after their mischief peter out
Sit by the tables, in neat rows
The boys on one side, the girls on the other
Little blue books passed down from the front
The boys, ever exuberant

"Choice of song?" A voice barely surmounts
That heap of noise, the lively children
Settling down, the books are opened
"Song four!" The boy shouts
Moans rise, moans at having to sing this song
Having to accommodate his choice every week

Still they sing
"Have I a heart of stone?" and I marvel
Pure voices, untainted voices
Voices that have never known doubt
Nor ceaseless toil, nor despair
So wonderful
Innocent

And the boys, eager for their voices to be heard
Above all the others, increase their zeal
A melodious cacophony
As they shout
"O Death, where is thy sting?
O Grave, where is thy victory?"

A final song, it's time to close
The boy stands nervously
Up in front, and says a prayer
For the rest of us
The same familiar lines
No attempt to create
A poetic pious supplication

The prayer ends, and chaos assumes
Its rule, as the books are hastily
Passed down to the front
And the chairs knocked around
Their footfalls thunder
Through the basement corridor
The little ones, bags in hand
Fly out of the room
The thunder echoes down
The stairwell and the corridor

In a moment it goes quiet
And I grief myself
For 'tis the heritage
I never enjoyed

2010-07-19T20:03:00.001+08:00

I didn't fall sick, yea. I still have that little strength left in me to do a little work...

2010-07-15T19:15:00.002+08:00

Third period PE today, yet another reminder on how out of shape I am. Cannot even run 1.6 km, fail...

2010-07-09T21:57:00.003+08:00

Wish I could experience the joy of the Lord, I need His strength to get me through, no way I can make it, I will surely faint if left on my own. Toil everywhere, no respite for my soul, continual assault from temptation and my conscience itself. If I should burn out, let it be for you, Lord. Don't let me be taken by this world, for I am but a pilgrim passing through. Let me be counted faithful as I fix me eyes on You, ever running this race. Help me throw off everything thing that hinders me, refine me, mold me for Your purpose.

2010-07-03T07:14:00.002+08:00

Reading a new book now, Disciplines of a Godly Man, and it's turning out to be a helpful book indeed. I'm in so much need of discipline as a Christian. Yea, if I am a Christian, I am the least of all.

2010-06-18T14:39:00.001+08:00

Just came back from church camp yesterday. Learnt so much about prayer I didn't know before for sixteen years. Of course, I grew up praying Charismatic prayers.

Now I'm back, facing the toils of life again. This time, I will be stronger because I will pray.

2010-05-27T12:19:00.003+08:00

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll,
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

My sin, oh the bliss, of this glorious thought,
My sin, not in part, but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord, oh my soul!

And Lord, haste the day, when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll.
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

- Horatio Gates Spafford

2010-05-22T22:49:00.002+08:00

Many people said that my blog posts have been oblique, can't tell who I'm referring to. Wait, actually it's only Nat Quek. Hahahaha.

Oh well, why should I blog like Jordan does? I do not have his kind of humour. And my memory is so bad nowadays, I can never fully recall the day's events. And I don't think anyone wants to read about my day anyway.

2010-05-17T20:01:00.001+08:00

We are in a rather desperate situation, but still, we do not have any choice. And yet I always have this assurance that all will turn out fine in the end.

2010-05-13T21:25:00.002+08:00

Today's physics lecture was funny. Mr. Goh had to give dictation Primary School style. "During the upward phase..." and everyone is desperately writing. "full stop... comma... open bracket..." it was quite amusing, he really reminded me of my Primary School teachers.

I was sitting down in front, and I was the only one not writing, I think. Mr. Goh was looking at me most of the time. I would have written if my hand was not trembling so violently. Even right now I can't feel total control of my hand.

2010-05-10T17:39:00.003+08:00

Whoops, we did not get to act, cos there was just no time. At least we did a good job explaining... I hope. Oh well, I'll be sure to plan something even more disastrous next time.

Ok, now I have to do my GPP. I am currently not doing it now, seeing as I can do what I am doing right now, but that does not change the fact that I have to do my GPP. I can't figure out what to write. Why am I so stoopid?

I am currently the only person so far to sign up for the international chess event for the Inter-Church Sports Day. I am going to play the adult category, whee. I am so going to get clobbered, seeing how rusty I am. Wait, I'm a hopeless chess player anyway, rust or no rust. Why did I ever choose to play chess when I'm clearly not talented in it? I so stoopid.

2010-05-07T20:55:00.002+08:00

I can't believe we're actually going to do that for physics tutorial. Mr Goh will be utterly shocked. Muahahaha. I just wish I can come up with better jokes, though. I was never a natural comedian. I am more of a clown. A rather sad one.

2010-05-05T21:18:00.001+08:00

Nothing happens by chance, I must find some purpose for all these things that have happened to me.

2010-05-03T18:51:00.002+08:00

Studied overnight at McDonald's at Tampines with The Large One, Nat Long, Jordan, and Lewis. Peng Chuen even came and visited us for a while.

Spent most of the time there studying! Cannot believe it right? Anyway I was also laughing at Nat Long for not knowing how to do G.P. (Geometric Progression)

Nat Long: Do I look like an idiot to you?
*sees me controlling my laughter*

Nat Long: Liddat lah!

It's been such a LONG time since I've made fun of him.

Eh, Large One, do send me all the vids of our sec four moments. Those vids you showed me last night. Thank you all. Urm, sorry, I mean, thank you.

2010-04-29T19:41:00.000+08:00

I feel so helpless, I want to do so much, but I am powerless.

2010-04-28T17:01:00.002+08:00

Had a half day today, and most of it was taken up by the investiture of the 27th Student's Council and the 19th Civics Tutorial Council. So we only had two periods of lessons. And one of those two periods happened to be a break in our class timetable. So we only had one period of talking to our GP tutor.

Went to Thaipan (YEAH!!!) after school with Ming Hao, Jolene, Charis, Shirley, Pei Wen and Ying Ying. I was called a rabbit after they saw me eat vegetables. I was hopping mad. Anyway, we ordered quite a spread, and struggled to finish it. I think I ate enough for three days. I shall not have to eat for the next three days.

Oh no, I went home and wasted time taking a siesta. Horrible consequence of eating too much.

2010-04-27T17:47:00.003+08:00

I passed 2.4. For the first time in three years, I passed 2.4. I passed 2.4. I passed. I passed. Eleven minutes and fifty-six seconds, beating my personal best timing by one minute and forty-one seconds, and that record is three years old. Between that time in sec two when I clocked thirteen minutes and thirty-seven seconds and yesterday, I never ran 2.4 below fourteen minutes for any 2.4 test AT ALL. By the way, Nat Quek and Nat Long, about the time you said that I passed 2.4 in sec four, I actually failed but Mr. Sng counted me to have passed because I failed by only a few seconds. I chose to run again many times, but it always turned out worse.

2010-04-23T20:13:00.004+08:00

It's been a hundred and ten days since I left, yet it feels like a decade to me, I can now only barely recall the events leading up to that fateful day. All I know is that ever since I faced the evidence and discovered the truth, and had the courage to accept it and reject what I was taught to believe since I was born, I found true peace, a peace the wonderland I grew up in could never afford. I thought that place had all I ever needed, but I never felt complete peace and assurance, and the promises were not being delivered. I was taught to believe that the fault was mine, and I lived for years feeling insecure, ever searching within my little wonderland for the key to the peace I so longed for, that special experience everyone else had but me. There was something wrong with me, therefore I could not enjoy the full pleasure and joy.

A door opened. A door to the outside world, the reality. I stepped through it, albeit very hesitantly, for fear of losing all the joy I had in the wonderland, and what I saw wrought a change in me I never imagined would happen. The evidence lay bare before me, it demanded a verdict. It was a tough truth to face, as it ran counter to nearly everything I was ever taught. The courage that soon rose within me was not mine, it was from a supernatural force, a prompting which beckoned me to a full life, a life filled with peace and assurance.

So my eyes were opened, the promises were false. All the joy and bliss everyone enjoyed was merely a facade, lasting but for a fleeting moment each time. Then it dawned on me, that staying would mean only destruction. I tried to persuade them, but they did not have the courage to face up to the evidence, and rejected me, so I got up and left.

Now I am reminded of them, and it brings grief to my heart. I care about them and miss them sorely, but to return to them after they have rejected me and cast me out requires a thousand times more courage than when I faced the truth.

I will return.

2010-04-22T18:52:00.001+08:00

Physics Olympiad Training. I have so much potential for improvement. If you didn't get it, it means I am lousy at physics... This law that law, this equation that equation, my head is going to explode, or maybe implode from the sheer mass of knowledge crammed into my little head, my head is already so dense with skull, I don't know how much I can store.

2010-04-21T18:22:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I amaze myself. My stupidity, my inability, my incompetence, my foolishness, my cowardice, my folly. Really, I have nothing else to say about myself. I just cannot do anything right.

2010-04-15T19:53:00.001+08:00

I have persevered... My PI is gone. I cannot find any problem to apply an alternative to. I am going to fail PW. Oh well, if I perish, I perish.

2010-04-09T20:11:00.002+08:00

So tired, virtually lost all my drive, no motivation left to do anything. Wonder how long I can carry on like that before I break.

I'm overwhelmed by a torrent, there is just no respite, not while my pilgrimage here in this world continues.

2010-04-07T20:17:00.001+08:00

Well, a brief moment of respite. Brief.

2010-04-04T15:22:00.002+08:00

I know I cannot handle this much longer. I have to trust in the Lord for strength, day by day I find less reason to rejoice, but, as Apostle Paul wrote, "Rejoice always". Yes, I will rejoice in the Lord, for His grace is sufficient for me.

All the way my Savior leads me,

What have I to ask beside?

Can I doubt His tender mercies,

Who through life has been my guide?

Heavenly peace, divinest comfort,

Here by faith, in Him to dwell,

For I know, whate'er befall me,

Jesus doest all things well.

All the way my Savior leads me,

Cheers each winding path I tread.

Gives me grace for every trail,

Feeds me with the living bread.

Though my weary steps may falter,

And my soul a-thirst may be,

Gushing from the Rock before me,

Lo! A Spring of Joy I see.

All the way my Savior leads me,

Oh! The fullness of His love!

Perfect rest to me is promised,

In my Father's house above.

When my spirit, clothed immortal,

Wings its flight to realms of day,

This my song through endless ages,

Jesus led me all the way.

- Fanny Crosby

2010-04-02T21:43:00.002+08:00

I'm getting unbelievably forgetful nowadays. I actually mixed up the timing for my church Good Friday Event, and I totally missed it. Sorry, Nat Quek.

Oh well, last night's Charismatic Concert was... Charismatic. The loud music, rock-concert style worship, the whole thing about "soaking yourself in the presence of God" reminded me of how I spent the first sixteen years of my life. But I had always felt like a fish out of water while in the Charismatic Church. Only when I had the courage to step out of it did I find true peace. Before then, I was always haunted by the thought that because I could not speak in tongues fluently, or I did not have the stamina to raise my hands for a long time during worship, or I just did not feel "the presence of God" during worship or see visions or experience miracles, I was not spiritual enough.

2010-03-31T19:33:00.002+08:00

Finally, I'm starting to get my time organised. Starting to. I still have a long way to go. At least my room is much clearer than it used to be, and I find more time in a day.

They say actions speak louder than words. But for me, actions creak louder than words. I change my posture a little and I can feel my knees, hips, elbows, shoulders and neck making a total cacophony.

2010-03-28T13:15:00.002+08:00

What a restful weekend, I have not done any work at all. Bad Asaph.

Physics Project. Chem Project. Econs PBL. Project Work PI. Oh, the horror! How am I going to survive this? There are only 24 hours in a day, not 42. Wait, even 42 is much too little. Sigh. I keep sighing.

2010-03-22T18:15:00.002+08:00

Well, suddenly I'm planning the chess training programme for the morning trainings. More work for this under-rested body of mine, what a pathetic wreck it is now. Term 2 is going to be a killer, sure. Project Work plus so much more that I cannot remember. My mind is breaking down. I just know it, I have become much less alert, slower, more forgetful, and I cannot concentrate. My body will break down soon, I need to rest, but I cannot. Insomnia has robbed me of it.

2010-03-19T23:42:00.000+08:00

VJC came in fourth for Hwa Chong Cup. Prizes given only to top three. Oh well, we'll come back next year.

2010-03-17T19:14:00.003+08:00

Took X-rays today, doctor says nothing wrong with me... I disagree. Never mind, wait for my knees to really give way then.

Finally, VJC settled on a team line-up for Hwa Chong Cup tomorrow. I think their impression on VJC is quite bad by now. Well, hopefully they'll accept the new team line-up and I will not be playing the first board this time.

2010-03-14T21:30:00.002+08:00

the pain in my knees and hips is getting worse. I cannot even stand for long without feeling unstable on my own two feet. I'm going to see a doctor tomorrow, to know if I have really gotten early arthritis.

A lighter note...

Really cute!

2010-03-12T13:04:00.002+08:00

You know, I just realised something. I am still using this Charismatic blog skin. Argh, it keeps reminding me of my days as a Charismatic, actually that's just about the first sixteen years of my life. By the grace of God, things have sure changed. I find it a greater comfort to not believe that miracles will happen today than to believe that they will, for instead of seeking quick-fix deliverance and ending up with nothing but disappointment with God when the miracles just don't happen, I rest in assurance that God has my life all planned out already, detailed to the point that the very hairs on my head are numbered, and not a single strand can fall from my head without His will.

2010-03-12T10:40:00.001+08:00

Coming to school today was totally pointless, principal declared full day so we just watched the cheer competition and went home. At least I got to poke fun at Wenhui because of her height, or rather, her lack of it. I seriously couldn't see much of her in the Pegasus cheer.

Hamster, don't kill me, please.

2010-03-09T21:52:00.002+08:00

One piece of advice I am giving my juniors next year: When it comes to going where to buy what, NEVER trust VJC people. If you do, you'll go to some place where you get fleeced.

2010-03-08T22:46:00.002+08:00

Oh well, emo-ing is over. I've got to pick myself up before Nationals on Sunday. But I have soooo much to catch up on.

CHESS HOWWWWWWW?????

2010-03-06T19:33:00.002+08:00

Day 1 of Pioneer JC Invitational Tournament. Oh, how was it? THE USUAL. Sometimes I wonder why I even try. Go there just to get whacked, what's the point? I am Asaph Ho, I will always lose. I don't feel like turning up tomorrow, I'm drained, mentally, physically and psychologically. But yea, I have to go again tomorrow, go for another round of thrashing.

AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!........

2010-03-05T17:24:00.002+08:00

Pioneer JC Invitational Tournament tomorrow and Sunday. This is it, I am so going to get slaughtered. I have not even checked the time control for the tournament. If it is Rapid Time Control, I might as well not turn up for the competition at all. But no, I can't do that, I'm the captain. (I do not even know who is in my team. I'm finding out tomorrow.) I'm naturally a slow thinker (and a rather lousy one too) so I take a long time to play carefully, but then I run out of time and lose. If I try to increase my speed by just a little, I make a silly blunder (this is my greatest talent, Jolene) and lose the game. So either way, I lose, which is what I was born to do.

2010-03-03T22:00:00.003+08:00

Another video, really hilarious and useful at the same time. And Ming Hao, I PROMISE it's not a screamer this time. If it turns out to be one, I would be REALLY freaked out.

2010-03-02T19:25:00.003+08:00

So many tutorials to do, so little time. Looks like I'm back to when I was doing O Levels... Everyday stay back in school up to six-thirty to mug. This time I'll stay in school and do tutorials.

This is amazing.

2010-02-28T20:41:00.002+08:00

Yay, there's school tomorrow! Lol.

2010-02-27T20:56:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired, I feel like I'm breaking down already. Sustain and preserve me, Lord.

2010-02-24T20:04:00.002+08:00

So sleepy today. I actually was not looking forward to chess training. I'm so rusty, my calculation is an absolute mess. And I am Asaph Ho, undisputed master in the Art of Blundering. I had to have Vivian Er (I was playing her) let me take back some moves.

Lol, the number of people who turned up for training today could almost be counted with the fingers on one hand.

*after chess training*

Vivian Er: Samuel, how much did you get for your IP2 review test last year?

Samuel Tan: Aiyah, okay lah, average 76.

Vivian Er: Can I, like, slap you? 76 so high already still say okay lah!

*some time later*

Vivian Er: How did you get 76?

Samuel Tan: Dunno lah, must be my Chinese pull me down.

-.-

2010-02-23T18:36:00.003+08:00

Today I actually tried to teach the class about addition of vectors along an x-y plane, I did not do a very good job, though. I failed to fully explain the underlying concept behind all the additions of vectors: resolution. (Teacher fail)

My handwriting on whiteboards is so ugly. I am just unable to write properly on a vertical plane. I can write neatly on a piece of paper on a table placed on level ground, but I just cannot write legibly on a whiteboard. After I was done, the whiteboard looked like a mad scientist had just been in the room.

When the tutorial was done, Mr. Goh left the room, and Mr. Ho came into the room.

Mr. Ho: I'm quite certain Mr. Goh did not write this, this vector presentation is so unprofessional! If your class writes this for Maths next year, I will whack your heads!

Stayed back in school today to research for Econs project with Wen Hui, Ming Hao and Evan.

Evan: *seeing me take my foolscap pad out* Ah! Good! Thanks, got paper, I can doodle.

*sometime later, while in the library*

Wen Hui: *to me* Can I draw?
Me: Huh?
Wen Hui: On your hand...
Me: !!!

2010-02-22T21:10:00.003+08:00

Yipee! School!

We had PE today (yay again!), we ran and we ran, then we turned back after a short while and ran back to school. My stamina lasted much longer this time. Near the end, I saw Belinda and Jolene ahead, strolling. Belinda turned around, saw me behind, and said something to Jolene. I mustered up my strength and charged forward. When I finally neared them, I tapped Jolene on the shoulder and said, "excuse me", and I passed in between them

Belinda: OMG you really caught up with us!

Jolene tried to kick me but the sole of her shoe came off. Epic phail. After the PE lesson the two of them were calling me a "Stupid Goose", and said something about me not running in the "V Formation".

The PE teacher for my class actually knows the name "Asaph", seems like he's a Christian. And today in Physics tutorial, Mr. Goh actually quoted 1 Corinthians 6:12.

Mr. Goh: Can I jump off the building? CAN! Can I eat something from the toilet bowl? CAN! Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial.

"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. - 1 Corinthians 6:12 (NIV)

I feel so ashamed of myself sometimes, I called myself a Christian for sixteen years without actually knowing that the saying "there is a time and place for everything" actually came from the Bible.

2010-02-21T21:19:00.012+08:00

Random photos... Nostalgia... In remembrance of the bad old days.

A stressed-out Asaph hitting the books.

The smiling coffee.

VS Chess Club 2007. One big joke of a CCA.

An optical illusion. I think Jordan and I took this just before our O Level Chemistry Paper 1

Graduation Night. VS Class 4C'09

The Three Musketeers.

Take THAT, Nathanael Long!

2010-02-21T17:02:00.002+08:00

I just made another blog post. I posted for two days consecutively. I should get a prize for this.

Used the new route to church today, it consists of a thirty-minute bus ride and a twenty-minute walk. But at least it's fast and saves me a lot of money. Have to thank Rachel for showing me that route.

Knees and ankles are hurting more and more nowadays, especially yesterday when the bunch of us climbed "Mount FE" (I'll put the photo here if I manage to get it). Am I getting arthritis? Sometimes I do not even feel stable on my own two feet.

2010-02-20T23:28:00.003+08:00

I have not posted for such a long time. I can't write blog posts, maybe because I have such a poor memory of what goes on during the day that I can't write about it. But then again, even if I can, who in the world wants to tell the whole world about their day? Oh well, I'll just jump on the blogging bandwagon, not that there's still much of a bandwagon left.

What to write? Oh, I don't know... Bye.

2009-12-21T20:02:00.002+08:00

I learnt a song from KS, really meaningful.

He's changing me, my precious Jesus
I'm not the same person that I used to be.
Sometimes it's slow going,
But there's a knowing,
That someday, perfect I will be...

Little by little, everyday,
Little by little, in every way,
Jesus is changing me.
Since I made that turnabout face,
I've been walking in His grace,
Jesus is changing me.

Yea, even though I am still subject to the attacks of sin and temptation, I will not give up the fight, for God is in me and with me.
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Christ: - Philippians 1:6
For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. - Philippians 2:13

2009-11-13T17:50:00.003+08:00

Who am I? I am a wretched man. I sin, I repent, and I sin again.
Who am I? I am a helpless weakling. At any time I could perish, my life is but chaff in the wind.
What have I? What treasures have I that I can take with me after death?
What fate awaits me? Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. I will perish, no matter what.

But yea, I have a blessed hope, the hope given by His grace.
I am an earthen vessel, a jar of clay ready for heavenly treasure to be poured into it.
And I know, indeed, that His plan for me will prevail.

2009-11-13T15:01:00.000+08:00

The struggles, they're finally beginning.

2009-11-11T15:44:00.003+08:00

There once was a man, his name was Magellan.
A Portuguese skipper, the girls found him cute.
He sailed with five ships, to find the East Indies,
Then come back to Spain with a bounty of loot.

Whoopie-ti-yi-yo! Oh, happy Magellan!
Starting your journey with hardly a care!
Whoopie-ti-yi-yo! Strong, brave Magellan!
You'll find the East Indies, you just don't know where!

They crossed the Atlantic, and spotted a country.
Magellan said, "It's the East Indies, at last!"
But then someone shouted, "Hey, that's Argentina!"
Magellan got cranky, and chopped down the mast.

Whoopie-ti-yi-yo! Settle down, Magellan!
Put down that axe, there's no time to despair!
Whoopie-ti-yi-yo! Keep trying, Magellan!
You'll find the East Indies, you just don't know where!

A great storm arose in the mighty Pacific,
The five little ships were diminished to three.
At last land was sighted, Magellan was happy.
But then someone shouted, "Hey, that's Chile!"

Whoopie-ti-yi-yo! Cheer up, Magellan!
Check out your map, and don't tear out your hair!
Whoopie-ti-yi-yo! Keep trying Magellan!
You'll find the East Indies, you just don't know where!

It took them five months, but they crossed the Pacific.
They spotted a land that was dotted with palms.
Magellan proclaimed, "Yes! That's the East Indies!"
But then someone shouted, "Hey, I think that's Guam!"

Ey-yi-yi-yi! Oops, Magellan!
Your fun little journey's become a nightmare!
Whoopie-ti-yi-yo! Keep trying, Magellan!
You'll find the East Indies, you just don't know where!

They sailed due west to the Philippine Islands,
Magellan was pleased as the natives drew near.
But then someone shouted, "I think they're attacking!"
Magellan said, "What?"
And got hit by a spear.

Whoopie-ti-yi-yo! Farewell Magellan!
You almost made it, it's really not fair!
Whoopie-ti-yi-yo! Oh, ghost of Magellan!
The East Indies Islands were right over there!

2009-11-01T20:02:00.003+08:00

Lord, I know that I am not my own, but I belong wholly unto thee, for this very reason I fear not, for every moment of my life has already been ordained for me. I will not worry about the future, what to eat, what to wear or where I would lie down for the night, for I trust with all my heart in thy providence. Am even if thee hath willed it to be that I should suffer, I suffer with gladness of heart, for no matter what dangers, toils and snares may come my way, thy grace it follows beside me. I fear not that which can only destroy my body, and not my soul, for I know that glory awaits me after this heart and flesh shall fail.

2009-10-27T17:59:00.003+08:00

"Remember your creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, "I will find no pleasure in them."" - Ecclesiastes 12:1

2009-10-25T20:46:00.002+08:00

Well, this is it.
I pray not for success, for success and failure has already been ordained. I pray only that God's will be done, and he be glorified no matter what the outcome may be. I pray that he will remind me of his promise never to forsake me, and to grant me the strength to accept whatever the future brings me.

2009-10-22T17:16:00.002+08:00

A great wreck of a train
Is my sister's piano piece
I hath not the heart to bid her cease
Thus beareth I eternal pain

2009-10-12T20:02:00.002+08:00

"When we graduated we were like oh-we're-not-going-to-see-each-other-again, and then three days later... Hi guys!" - Jon Tan

At the end of sec 3 the ESP students had this "Camp Bridge", or summer camp. After 'O' Levels we should have Camp Bridge again, where we play bridge all day.